


Life in Demyx's Eyes

by Falco276



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-16 03:18:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1329904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falco276/pseuds/Falco276
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Demyx's personal online journal where he records the crazy events that happen in the castle. Rated M for language and...other stuff I guess...Xigbar's a busy boy! The chapters in this story are also available in the continuation of 'Demyx's Webshow'. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Life in Demyx's Eyes](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/40831) by SoraPscycho. 



> Originally written by SoraPscycho from ff.net.  
> FLAG does not exist anymore.  
> Downloading purposes only.  
> Thanks again and enjoy.  
> (This fic will stay on Ao3 until deleted on March 20, 2014.)

Hey guys it's Jenna, I just wanted to say this is ALL about Demyx's online diary sort of thing, so if you're not a fan, too bad.

Disclaimer: Yea, yea , blah, blah, the only thing I own in this fic is the idea

*January 1, 2011 8:47 P.M*

"Hey guys, Demyx here! Jenna finally let me have my own fiction after all the begging i've done. I'm here to tell you about life from my POV. (that means point-of -view.) This will forever be my online diary. Okay so where should I start? Well... I guess I'll start with my life in Organization XIII. I am Demyx, I am member number nine and my element is water, but you probably already knew all that stuff. I bet you didn't know that I have a pet! His name is George; he's my pet rock. He doesn't do much, but he's a great listener. Now, you're probably wondering, 'Demyx who's your best friend?' well my answer to that is, everyone! But especially Zexion. I don't know, but I just feel like we were always good friends, right Zexy old buddy?"

"No. Now could please get your hand off me?"

"Oh, uh, mmkay i'll talk to ya' later! ...So, uh, where were we? Right! so I bet you're _also_ wondering, 'Demyx, who do you like least in the Organization?' well, I'm gonna whisper it so no one can hear me... my least favorite would be... Lexaeus. I mean, he's so quiet and whenever I say hi, he never says it back; it's kinda irritating. Why don't we go see what he's up to, shall we? Of course there he is just sitting on the living room couch with Xaldin and Marluxia watching South Park, typical. I'm not even going to bother to say hi this time. Hmm, I wonder who likes _me_ the least. I guess it would be between either Larxene or.. Xigbar. I know, I'm gonna find out right now. Now, where's Larxene? Ah, yes, the kitchen. Hey Larxene, do you like me?...as a friend of course.

"Mmm... you're okay, I guess."

"Oh...REALLY?'

"Ya, really. Now go away before I change my mind."

"Oh, okay. hmm... were's Xigbar?"

"I think he's in his room practicing his aim or something."

"Thanks Larxene. Now to Xigbar's room! Hey Xigbar!"

"What is it?"

"Do you like me... as a friend?"

"Well, not really, sorry."

"Oh, that's fine, I was just trying to check something. I'm just gonna go back to my room now. Hmm I'm really bored and I'm hungry. Bored and hungry! Bored and hungry! Bored and hungry!

"Demyx, WHAT are you doing?"

"Oh, hi Xemnas, I was just singing a song about me being bored and hungry."

"Are you honestly that desperate?"

"yes?"

"Fine; Demyx, you have permission to take something from my secret pantry and you may find yourself something to do, just don't...bother anyone in trying to do so."

"Thanks Xemnas! Okay, to the kitchen! Hmmm.. Oh, potato chips! Oh, ice cream! OOOOHHH...chocolate cake! I'm gonna grab everything I can carry! Omnomnom.'

"Demyx is that you?"

"Auu, yea Ackshel?"

"Are you talking through a mouth full of food?"

"Yesh."

"Where did you get all that?"

"Shemnesh let me open hish shecret pantray."

"Hey Demyx, do you got any - Heyyy! Man where did you get all that food?"

"Well Xigbar, you see I-"

"Hey Axel, did you know about this?"

"Nope."

"Do you think the others deserve to know?"

"I should hope so Xigbar. HEY EVREYONE, FOOD PARTY IN DEMYX'S ROOM!"

"Oh, this is bad Xemnas trusted me with his food stash and now everyones rushing in here and I-"

"Demyx! WHAT is going on here? And is that my food?"

"Xemnas, I can explain!"

"Oh, I'm sure you can, COME HERE!"

"AAAHHH! STOP CHASING ME XEMNAS! AHH!"

"COME HERE! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"AHH, NO! AHH!"

"Well, it looks as if Xemnas is busy trying to kill Demyx with his etheral blades, so uh, this is Zexion, filling in for Demyx, and we're, signing off."

"AAH, OUCH! XEMNAS!"

So guys, whattaya think? It's my first fictoin so love it? Hate it? Leave your answers in the reviews! And Kassie, if you're reading this, remember, I need your help most of all!


	2. Demyx fights back!

*January 16, 9:41 A.M*

"Hey everyone, Demyx here again. Sorry I haven't updated in over two weeks. Ever since the food incident, Mansex has had some sort of bone to pick with me. As punishment for that, he cut off my computer time and unfortunately, Jenna is not here right now to have a say in that.

Well since it's been so long, I should probably fill you in on what's been going on around here. Okay so last week, Xigbar and Luxord played a mean trick on me!"

"Yea, and it was funny as Hell!"

"Oh, hello Xigbar... what do you want?"

"To show you the video we took!"

"What? Really Luxord you took video too?"

"Yea, just watch!"

*Places disk in Demyx's DVD player*

"Hey kiddo, how's it goin'?"

"Oh, it's going good, Xigbar; I just took a bath, and while I was in there I-"

"Too much info, little dude. Hey, could ya' do me a favor?"

"Sure! I'd love to help."

"Good, can you go get me a Coke from the fridge?"

"Okay. Lets open this up and- AHHH!"

"Yes it worked Xigbar!"

"Wha? What do guys mean? I was just trying to get a Coke from the fridge and a pie came out and hit me in the face!"

"Sorry mate, but you've just been pranked... hard."

"Aw, Luxord, Xiggy...ugh, Mansex!"

*End of video*

"Hahahahahahaha!"

"Yeah sure, real mature guys."

"What? We're the immature ones? You had to go to the infirmary!"

"Well, everythings sounded like pie!"

"Whatever, c'mon Xigbar."

"Bye, kiddo!"

"Man, sometimes I can't stand those guys! I wish there could be some way of getting them back. Hmm... I could... no. Or maybe... no. Man, all this thinking is making me thirsty, I'm gonna go to the kitchen and get something to drink."

"Ah! Damnitt! Xigbar, Luxord you're dead. Outta my way Demyx!"

"Oh, sorry Larxene! I'll stay out of the way next time."

"Boy she looks pissed, then again... when doesn't she?"

"Huh? Oh hello Sora, I didn't see you there... wait, why are you here?"

" 'Cuz Jenna is in the castle. I couldn't help but notice, that Xigbar and Luxord haven't necessarily been fair these past couple of days, have they?"

"No, they have not. In fact, they've been really mean."

"You do want to get even, don't you? I think it's awful that they've been tricking you when you have been so innoccent."

"Yeah, you're right, I haven't done anything to them!"

"So, I say, _we_ play a prank on _them_. Not anything mean, but just to even the score, ya' know?"

"Yeah! I'm in!'

"Truce?"

"Truce!"

"Good, I'm looking foward to working with you."

"Boy, I can't wait to see what Sora is planning! This Demyx, and we're signing off. Buy guys!"

(A/N: Sorry for the short chapter guys! I was kinda in a hurry before my laptop shut off on me. Plus I got sidetracked because my brother was distracting me and I was watching Avatar: The last airbender. Tune in next week to find out what Sora and Demyx are gonna do to get back at Xiggy and Luxord.)


	3. The Revenge

*January 26 2011, 3:08 A.M.*

"Hey people, Demyx here."

"And I'm Sora."

"Yeah, Sora is here to help me get back at Luxord and Xigbar. I know it's really late, but we're trying to make sure no one hears or sees us when we set up our trap."

"What trap?"

"Uh-oh, heya Roxas. We were... it's just-"

"Its nothing Roxas, just go back to your room."

"Well, whatever you're doing, I want in!"

"Shh, keep it down Roxas, why do you think Demyx and I are whispering?"

"I don't know, you don't seem to wanna tell me."

"Fine, Demyx and I are trying to set up a trap to get revenge on Xigbar and Luxord."

"Oh, lemme help! Those jackasses pied me in the face yesterday."

"They got me too! They also got Vexen, Marluxia, and Larxene."

"Well, what are you guys planning to do with them?"

"We're planning to call them downstairs and as they're walking, we'll pull a rope that releases marbles making them trip and bounce down to the floor."

"Yea, that was Sora's part of the plan. My part of it was that when they get up they'll step into a rollerskate and glide across the greased floor."

"Wow, that's pretty good, but what about the finale?"

"The... finale?"

"Ya Demyx, the finale."

"Oh, I guess we didn't think about the finale... did we Demyx?"

"No, we didn't. Okay Roxas, what's your idea?"

"Well, I think after they slide, they should trip over a wire that dumps syrup on them, trips them, and makes them fall onto a pile of feathers."

"Wow, good idea Roxy... Demyx, did you get all that?"

"Yep!"

"Good, let's go set that stuff up. Roxas you set up the feathers, Demyx you set up the wire, and i'll set up the syrup."

*Demyx*

"Boy, setting up ropes is harder than you would think. Oh man, I can't wait to see the looks on their faces; they're really gonna get it!"

"Shh! Keep it down."

"Sorry Sora."

*Roxas*

"Oh yeah, this is gonna rock. A-a-achoo!"

"Shh!"

"Well _excuse_ me, hmph. A guy can't even sneeze in this place without getting yelled at."

*Sora*

"This is gonna be so cool. Oh, I almost forgot, we need to record this. Hey Dem, where'd you leave the camera?"

"Under the stairs. By the way, where are we gonna hide out when Luxord and Xiggy come out here?"

"How about uh... under the stairs?"

"Mmkay."

"Hey Roxas, Demyx and I are ready, are you comin'?"

"Coming. Are we ready?"

"Yep."

"Uh-huh."

"Nice so uh, how were you and Sora planning to get them down here?"

"Well umm... we didn't think about that."

"Jeez, it's a wonder how you even remembered to set this up at all. Don't worry, I got this."

"Okay, Demyx and I are trusting you with this."

"I said I got it Sora. Xigbar, Luxord, Mansex wants to see you!"

*Xigbar and Luxord coming dowm the stairs*

"Ugh, *yawn* what does he want from us now? It's three in the morning."

"I don't know why but whatever _you_ did I'm not taking the fall for you."

*Demyx, Sora, and Roxas hiding under the stairs*

"Hey Sora, Roxas they're getting close."

"Shh we know, just keep quiet a little longer, kay?"

*Xiggy and Luxord*

"I haven't bought any liqour lately, so why would he yell at us?"

"I- AHHH!"

*Dem, Sora, and Roxy*

"Guys, listen... They're falling to the ground!"

"Yes, it's working!"

"Wait, Demyx, Roxas, you hear that? I think that was the squeaky wheel on one of the rollerskates!"

"Let's see if it worked. Demyx, turn the lights on."

"Got it Roxas! Ha it did work!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Well, well, well... if it isn't Chiken drunk and Chicken drunk- _er_?"

"What do you want Roxas, can't you see Luxord and I are a bit busy trying to lie on the floor in pain?"

"Nothing, I just happened to be in the area and-"

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

"Oh, hi Man- Xemnas..."

"I don't want a hello Demyx, I want some answers! First of all I want to know why you and Roxas are out of bed; Second I wanna know why the hell Sora is here; And last but most definately not least, I wanna know why Xigbar and Luxord are fucking ducks!"

" Well Roxas and I are uh... thirsty, Sora is here because we needed help with the job and I think Xiggy and Luxord are covered head to toe in sticky feathers 'cause they're drunk."

"... get to bed you two. Sora,"

"Yeah?"

"Leave. As for the turkeys..."

" What's with all the noise? Oh em geh! Marluxia come out here!"

"What is it Larx- HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Mansex, why do Xigbar and Luxord look as if they were attacked by a pillow mafia?"

"Good question Larxene, I'd answer it for you but frankly I would like to know the answer myself."

"Oh... Marluxia this is gold go get your phone and your camera... I have a feeling we're gonna be on Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter for a while."

*Roxas and Demyx*

"Fist-bump!"

"That was awesome!"

"Finally, I stood up for myself!"

"Good for you Demyx, I'm somewhat proud of you."

"Thanks, night Roxas."

"Night Demyx."

"Today was an interesting day filled with syrup, feathers and Facebook, But I'm really tired. So, this concludes another epic week of Life In Demyx's Eyes. Bye guys!"

(A/N: Whatcha think? I finally made it longer! Next week I'm thinking about doing an interview with two people. Name what two people you think Dem dem should interveiw in the comments, bye!)


	4. The Interviews

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of this chappie was edited by me entirely.  
> Sources are all from ff.net KH writer, CrimsonOblivion.

March, 5, 2011, 8:31 A.M

"Hi everyone...today isn't going so well... I'm bored and I'm hungry. Bored and-"

"Demyx, if you sing that Goddamn song one more time I will personally shoot you!"

"Sorry Xemnas! I'm so bored, I wish there was someone I could play with. Oh, hey look, it's Axel! But he's playing his PSP, so how am I gonna get his attention?"

"Yea, take that you sonofabitch!"

"Sigh... sigh...SIGH... I SAID SIGH DAMNIT!"

"What do you want Demyx?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just withering away at the sound of my own boredom."

"Oh, well... you do that."

"Wait, Axel!"

"...Yes?"

"Could you play with me?"

"No."

"Aw..."

"Look, why don't you do a mission or something?"

"Cause, Xemnas wants me to go to Hollow Bastion to talk some sense into Sora, but after what happened the last time I faced Sora in a challange, I won't know what to say. You know I'm not that good with words. How am I supposed to start off the conversation? ' _Hey you guys are lookin' lively.'_ That's so not gonna happen." (A/N: Yes, I know that Sora and Demy teamed up last time, but that was before that Underworld mission that Demyx went on.)

"Well uh, why don't you do something that'll keep you busy...and away from me."

"What was that last part Axel?"

"Oh, nothing. Like I was saying, you should tell people about what's going on in the castle, that'll give you something to do."

"But I already do that, you know with my online diary and stuff."

"Ok, so make a newspaper then."

"Yeah, that's it, a newspaper! Thanks Axel!"

"Can I go know?"

"Sure, but I-"

"BYE!"

"Axel? Whatever, I'll just go straight to making the newspaper. So... hmmm... how would you make a newpaper... Saix, how would you make a newspaper?"

"Well, I would need to have all the basic components of a newspaper."

"Which would be?"

"Well, there's a lot of them. There's the main article, horrescopes, jokes, riddles, comics, wanted ads, advertisments, advice columns, interviews-"

"What was that last thing?"

"Interviews...why? Demyx...WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?"

"Nothiiiing...bye Saix!"

"Oh, sometimes I worry about that one."

"Hey Saix, what's up with Demyx?"

"I'm not sure Xion, but it looks as if he's making a run for the Superior's office...why do you have a corndog?"

"I was hungry..."

*Superior Mansex's office*

"Hiya Xemnas!"

"...Hello Demyx. Not to be rude but, what the hell are you doing here? PLEASE don't tell me you're bored again."

"Oh no Xemnas, I'm not bored, I found something to do! I'm making a newspaper and I'm gonna interview everyone according to number, so, as Superior *rolls eyes*, you get to go first."

"Even when you've found something to do, you somehow still need me to entertain you... alright, let's get this over with."

*Xemnas' interview*

"Okay...first question, what's your element?"

"Darkness."

"Second question...what is your weapon?"

"My Ethereal blades."

"Okay...what's your favourite colour?"

"Black."

"Let's see...What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Coffee."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"Two and a half men."

"What is your favourite movie?"

"Monster-in-law."

"What kind of music do you like?"

"Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato."

"What car do you own?"

"2012 black Chevy Suburban."

"Next... what do you like to do on the weekends?"

"Excuse me?"

"What...do...you like...to do- and don't mention adult entertainment."

"Nevermind. Uh, I guess I love to plan out milk dominations with Mrs. MANLY cow and um, play croquet-"

"You play croquet?"

"Yes, every Sunday with the crooked Red Queen of Wonderland."

"Oh... well alright then. Now it's time for a personal question."

*Xemnas' expression -)O.o*

"Ha?"

"Yep."

"Joy..."

"Why did you get into the obsession of Kingdom Hearts?"

*Mister Mansex rolls his eyes and answers sarcastically.*

"For shits and giggles Demyx...I did it for a heart, that's why the Organization was created."

"Wait, so, does that mean I'm involved in Kingdom Hearts too?"

"Nine, for what purpose do you think you're in the Organization?"

"Because I'm a nobody?"

"Right. And nobodies, like the Organization, want hearts because...?"

"They don't have any?"

"Right"

"But we do have-"

"Quiet Demyx!"

"But I-"

"Ah, I said quiet."

"Okay."

"Good, now leave."

"Yes Xemnas. Well, THAT went well."

"What went well?"

"Oh, I didn't see you there Xion. I was talking about Mansex's interview."

"Okay. Who are you gonna do your next interview on?"

"According to the list, Xigbar. Where could he be?"

"Oh, he's in his room."

"Good, thanks Xion."

"You're welcome Demyx!"

"And off I am to Xigbar's room!"

*Xemnas*

"Sometimes I worry about that boy."

*Xigbar's room*

"Hey Xiggy!"

"He- oh...it's _you_."

"Oh, yeah, right...I forgot, you're mad at me."

"Yeah, don't you remember? You tripped me and Luxord down the stairs and you covered us in feathers."

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that. Anyway-"

"Anyway, why are you here?"

"I wanted to interview you for my newspaper."

"..."

"Well?"

"...fine."

"Yay!"

*Xigbar's interview*

"First question, what is your element?"

"Space."

"Second, what is your weapon?"

"My arrow guns."

"Next, what is your favourite colour?"

"Dark green."

"What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Mint chocolate-chip."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"Monty Python."

"What is your favorite movie?'

"Zone troopers."

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Heavy metal, and basically any kind of rock."

"Own a car?"

"Yes. A 2006 silver Toyota Corolla."

"What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"Excuse me?"

"Man, Xemnas said the same thing..."

"I like to practice my aim and hunt."

"Okay, here's your personal question that I think up randomly."

"O-kay."

"Are you a skunk, a pirate, or both?"

"Demyx..."

"Fine, I'll change it. Are you perverted?"

"Wha? JESUS, WHY DOES EVERYONE ASK ME THAT?"

"So I'm guessing that's a no?"

"YES THAT'S A NO!"

"Okay then, you're all done. I don't know how I- AHHH!"

"Oh! Demyx, I-I didn't mean to-"

"Oh...Namine, you scared me."

"I'm sorry."

"Right, so, do you happen to know where Xaldin is?"

"Um, actually yeah, I do, he walked by me just a few minutes ago."

"Did he say where he was going?"

"No, but I think he was headed towards the kitchen."

"Thanks Nami!"

"Bye Demyx, but I think you should stop running, what if you run into-" *CRASH!* "That vase..."

"Right...to the kitchen!"

"Sometimes I worry about that boy."

*The kitchen*

"Hey there, Xaldin!"

"Hi Demyx, what is it?"

"Well, I wanted to interview you...for my newspaper."

"But, I'm cooking...for"

*Demyx's adorable puppy dog eyes*

"Hhhhhmmm...okay"

"Yes!"

*Xaldin's interview*

"First question, what is your element?"

"Wind."

"Next question, what is your favourite colour?"

"Dark blue."

"Really? Mine's light blue! Next question, what is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Blackberry."

"Yuck! That actually tastes good?"

"Surprisingly...yes, it does."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"Family guy."

"Next, what is your favourite movie?"

"Gone with the wind."

"Ha, I get it 'cause your element is wind, right?"

"No. I actually find it a very touching tale."

"Well, ya' meet all kinds of people down the road, ha ya' know...what...I mean?"

*Xaldin's expression- -_-*

"No I don't know what you mean Demyx."

"Alright then...next question, what kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Rock and stuff."

"Own a car?"

"Actually, not personally, but I'll have to say our 2012 black Chevy Express passenger van."

"Riiight... next question. What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"Ex-"

"And don't you DARE say excuse me!"

"Okay...I like to cook and sometimes I hunt with Xigbar."

"Good, now it's time for your personal question."

"My what?"

"Personal question. Are you sadistic?"

"How would you know that? XIGBAR! WHAT DID THAT BASTARD TELL YOU?"

"Nothing, it was just a question Xaldin."

"Oh...no, no I am not... goodbye Demyx."

"Goodbye? Okay...Xaldy?"

"What?"

"Do you know where Vexy is?"

"That's a dumb question."

"Why?"

"Because, where do you think Vexen _always_ is?"

"His lab?"

"Yes."

"Great! Thanks Xaldin!"

"You're welcome. Sometimes I worry about him..."

*Vexen's lab*

"Heeeyy Vexeenn!"

"Hello Demyx. What are you doing here?"

"Well I-"

"You know not to interrupt me when I'm doing my studies."

"Sorry, I just wanted to interview you."

"Oh, really? Someone who want to learn about my experiments?"

"Well, actually I just wanted to learn about you."

"Oh, very well then."

*Vexen's interview*

"What is your element?"

"Ice."

"What is you favourite colour?"

"Bright green."

"What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Vexen flavour!"

"They have that?"

"Yes."

"Alriiightyyy theen. What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"Mythbusters."

"What is your favorite movie?"

"Drag me to hell."

"Wow, I didn't know you liked that movie..."

"You learn new things every day."

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"I like easy listening; soft and contemperary."

"Own a car?"

"Uh, I'll take that question for our van."

"What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"I like to practice my maniac laughter during experiments and play the accordion with Zexion."

"Huh, Zexy! Now, time for your personal question."

"Alright."

"Are you insane?"

"Actually, I was checked into a mental health clinic when I was Even."

"What happened?"

"They said I was forming an 'unnatural' obssesion with protecting Ienzo."

"Woah, that's weird. Well I gotta go Vexen, I have to go interview Lexaeus... do you know where he is?"

"Yes, he is in the living room."

"Thanks!"

"Goodbye boy!"

"BYE!"

"Huh... sometimes I worry about that boy..."

*The living room*

"Hey Lexy!"

"Hmmm? Oh, hello nine."

"You said hi!"

"Yeah... so, whatcha' doin' here?"

"I wanna interview you for my newspaper."

"Very well then."

"Oh! That was easy!"

"Okaayyy then..."

*Lexaeus' interview*

"What is your element?"

"Earth."

"What is your favourite colour?"

"Orange."

"What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Rocky-road."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"The simpsons, and basically anything on Adult Swim."

"What is your favourite movie?"

"Silent hill."

"Hm, figures."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Any kind I guess."

"Own a car?"

"2012 Pyrite Mica Toyota Tundra pick up truck."

"What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"Read, cook with Xaldin, and teach Roxas how to play the guitar, he's getting really good at it."

"You play the guitar?"

"A little bit, wanna hear?"

"Sure!"

*Lexaeus' amazing guitar solo. Demyx's reaction- :O*

"Wow, Lex, you're fantastic!"

"Thanks."

"Now it's time for your personal question."

"Sure."

"Why are you so anti-social?"

"Well, it's just that I don't like to speak to much, and honestly, I don't have much to say, and when I don't, it's not a lot."

"Oh, I didn't realize... well thanks for your time Lex!"

"Goodbye!"

"Hmm, I worry about him."

"WAIT!"

"What?"

"Where. Is. Zexy?"

"Where is Zexion?"

"I'm the one asking the questions here. Now, where is he?"

"Hm, he's in the library."

"Thaaaank-yooouuu."

Again, I worry about him."

*The Library*

"Hey there Zexy!"

"Hi Demyx... you're up to something, something not good...I can sense it... what are you doing here?"

"I want to interview you for the newspaper I'm making."

"Iknewit."

"You're just good like that, Zexy."

"...quite."

*Zexion's Interview*

"What is your element?"

I'm the cloaked shcemer, so I'm the illusionist."

"What is your favourite colour?"

"I have three, black, dark blue, and dark purple."

"What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Chocolate."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"I watch most animes including Ouran High School Host Club, Full Metal Alchemist, Death Note, and Bleach. I also watch Naruto, and CSI."

"CSI?"

"Why the hell not?"

"Alright then. What is your favourite movie?"

"I like Pirates of the Caribbean."

"Oooohh, me too! Which one is your favourite?"

"I like all three."

"...no way... ME TOO!"

"Of course."

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Any music really, except for country. I _hate_ country."

"Same here. Certainly own a car?"

"2004 silver Toyota Celica GT."

"What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"I like to read and practice my harp with Vexen and his nifty accordion. And lately Roxas and Lexaeus have joined us."

"Cool. Now here comes your personal question."

"My what now?"

"Oh, don't be silly, you heard me! Is reading the only thing you do?"

"Wow, I was expecting you to ask me if I was emo."

"Naw, I know you're not."

"Oh, then, I love video games."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I play Call Of Duty with Axel and Roxas."

"Really? When?"

"All the time."

"How come they never tell?"

"They're surprisingly trustworthy."

"Wow, well, that's all I got. I have to go interview Saix now."

"Bye Demyx. I'm concerned about his mental health, that one."

*Demyx trying to look for Saix, but failing miserably*

"Saix, here puppy, puppy, puppy!"

*Whistle*

"Demyx, what the hell are you doing?"

"Saix! I found you."

"Why did you need to see me?"

"My newspaper, remember?"

"Oh, good God. What about it Demyx?"

"I wanted to interview you."

"Okay, what could possibly happen? I'm going to regret that, I'm sure."

*Saix's Interview*

"What is your element?"

"My element is the moon."

"What is your favourite colour?"

"Dark blue."

"Wow, you know-"

"No, I don't know, Demyx."

"Two other people said that dark blue was _their_ favourite color too"!

"Okay then."

"What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Vanilla"

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"Fear Factor"

"What is your favourite movie?"

"The twilight saga."

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Pop."

"Own a car?"

"Yes, Demyx. I do. It's a 2012 Clearwater blue metallic Toyota Camry Hybrid."

"What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"I like to um... that information is classified."

"Okay, now it's time for the personal question."

"Great."

"Do you worship Greek moon Gods?"

"No, what the hell kinda question is that?"

"Well I-I gotta go Saix... BYE!"

"I still worry about that one."

*Somewhere in the many hallways of the castle*

"Yeah! Take that biatch! Fuck you! And fuck you!"

"Axel, hey! Hey Axel!"

"Wha? Demyx, what is it now?"

"Imma gonna interview you!"

"Alright, lemme just press pause on my game."

*Axel's interview*

"What is your element?"

"Fire."

"What is your favourite colour?"

"Red, flaming red."

"What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Strawberry."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"Jersey shore."

"What is your favourite movie?"

"Rush hour."

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Rock and stuff..."

"Own a car?"

"(sigh) Yes Dem, I do. 2006 red Dodge Stratus-and don't you dare say it's a girly car like the last time."

"*whisper* okay.-Moving on. What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"I like to fly/build planes. Yes I'm an aviation maniac(and mechanic). Play video games and lite things on fire...oh! And I sit on the Twilight town tower with Roxas and Xion; we eat sea-salt ice cream together."

"Now it's time for your personal question. What game were you playing exactly?"

"Oh, I was playing Birth By Sleep."

"You play Kingdom Hearts?"

"Why not?"

"Alright then, you're all done. And since I can't interview myself, I'll need to know where myself is."

"He is in his room I believe."

"Thanks! Bye Axel!"

"Bye! He worries me."

"Hhh! Yay! Now I can interview myself!" *cue forever alone meme.*

"Let's see. What's your element?"

"Oh! Water. Cuz waterz awesomez."

"Favourite colour?"

"Light blue like the ocean."

"Your Weapon?"

"Oh! I have two in case you didn't know. My sitar, Arpeggio and my greek sword, Wave Storm (Κύμα καταιγίδα)

"Favourite ice cream flavour?"

"Blueberry- but not muffins like Xemmy."

"Favourite TV show?"

"The Wiggles and Ocean guppies-Oh! And Horseland, too. That one's really awesome!"

"Favourite movie?"

"Hmm...not sure. I have seen the Avengers but it's not my type entirely. Okay, I may have to say Finding Nemo."

"Music?"

"Any type but mostly Celtic/Gaelic."

"Own a car?"

"Three best cars I ever own right now. A 2011 Barcelona Red/Sandy Beach metallic Toyota Prius, 2012 sapphire blue metallic Škoda Octavia TSI VRS and a 2011 Alabaster Silver/Obsidian Blue Pearl/custom painted Barcelona Red Metallic Honda Pilot Hybrid Synergy Drive Touring edition T-Spirit I-Tech."

"Well, that was kinda long. Moving on, what do you like to do on the weekends?"

"Oh! I love to hang out with the Organization but when I'm at home, it turns out that it's just me, my wife Emily, and the horses."

"Woah, you're married?"

"Well, duh! In a weird way."

"Okay, I guess I just asked the personal question."

"Tee-hee-hee! It's fine! Well, then time to go to Luxord's!"

*Luxord's room*

"Um... Luxord."

"Oh Demyx, c'mon in mate."

"Lux-Luxord?"

"Don't be shy."

"You...you're not mad at me?"

"No, that thing that happened a couple of weeks ago, was just you tryin' to get even, and might I say, very clever."

"Oh, well can I interview you for my newspaper, then?"

"Sure, mate."

*Luxord's interview*

"What is your element?"

"Time."

"What is your favourite colour?"

"Red."

"What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Rum raisin."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer." (A/N: Look it up on Wikipedia, Luxord'a voice actor plays a role on BTVS)

"What is your favourite movie?"

"Ocean's eleven."

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Rock and other stuff."

"Own a car?"

"2011 dark green Toyota Corolla."

"What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"I like to play cards and and I go out to the No name pub every once in a while."

"Personal question time!"

"Okay."

"Is it true that you are drunk 95% of the time?"

"Sadly, yes it is...I'm actually a bit buzzd still from last night's party."

"Well, that all I have for you right now."

"Okay, goodbye Demyx."

"Bye!"

"I worry about that boy sometimes."

*A random hallway in the castle*

"Lalalalalalala. AAAAAAAHHHHH! Goddamnit Xion!"

"You scared the shit out of me!"

"Ohmigosh, I'm sooo so-"

"First Namine, then you?"

"I said I was sorry."

"Ugh, it's okay. Hey do you know where Marluxia is?"

"Yeah, I think he's taking a shower, or he just got out... anyway, he's in the bathroom."

"Thanks Xion."

"Bye...I worry about that boy sometimes."

*Outside the bathroom*

*Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock*

"MARRLLLYYY!"

"Demyx, I told you, you have to stop eating corndogs in the shower."

"Sorry Marly, but this is important."

"What Demyx?"

"I wanted to interview you for my newspaper."

"Sure."

*Marluxia's interview*

"What is your element?"

Flowers and nature and things of that...nature."

"What is your favourite colour?"

"Pink."

"What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Chocolate."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

I have two. South park and Ghost Adventures."

"What is your favourite movie?"

"Tommy boy."

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Classical."

"What car do you own?"

"2011 pink Toyota Rav4."

"What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"I like to garden and sing and dance (ballet) and draw. I'm taking lessons from Namine."

"Your personal question. Here goes... are you an outlaw?"

"Psh, no, why would you think that?"

"Well, Xigbar told me you had been convicted of smoking mary-jew-anna." (A/N: Demyx can't pronounce nor spell marijuana.)

"Uh... um... Demyx, I think you should go now."

"But why?"

"You know too much!"

"But Marly-"

"NO ONE SEES THE WIZARD!"

*Slams door in face. Demyx's expression- D:; *

"...WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

*Marluxia*

"Boy, that was a close one... I worry about that kid."

*Outside the door of the bathroom*

"Stop screaming Demyx!"

"Oh, Larxene! I need you for a second."

"What the hell do you need me for?"

"I wanted to interview you."

"Ummmm..."

"Aw c'mon Larxene pleaase? Pleeeeaaaaasssee?"

"Fine fine. I'll sit through you damn interview."

"Yay?"

*Larxene's pissy interview*

"What is your element?"

"Electricity."

"Really? I always thought it was pms."

"You little..."

"Okay! Next question. What is your favourite colour?"

"Purple."

"What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Vanilla."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"Desperate housewives."

"What is your favourite movie?"

"The fifth element."

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"I don't really listen to music, but, I guess, pop and rock."

"Own a car?"

"No I don't own a car and get a move on with the interview!"

"But you couldn't simply said our van."

"Fine! I share it with Marluxia's Rav4!"

"Geez, you don't have to be all huffy. Okay, what do you like to do on the weekends?"

"I... wait, why do you care?"

"Nevermind. Now it's time for your personal question. Are you mad at Tetsuya for making you such a complete and total bitch? I mean really, you are so mean and nasty and-"

"WHY YOU FUCKING ASSHAT! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A BITCH WHEN I'VE BEEN SO FUCKING NICE! FUCK THIS INTERVIEW! I'M LEAVING!"

"But-"

"NO FUCK YOU AND FUCK MANSEX TOO!"

"But Larxy-"

"DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT NAME EVER AGAIN OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF!"

"Jesus Christ, lord almighty, don't ever let that happen to me."

*Larxene*

Sometimes I worry about that goddamn kid."

*Outside Larxene's room*

"What the hell was that about?"

"Roxas! Just the man I wanted to see!"

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, because I'm going to interview you for my newspaper."

"Alright."

*Roxas' interview*

"What is your element?"

"Light."

"What is your favourite colour?"

"Blue."

"What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Chocolate."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"Deadliest catch."

"What is your favourite movie?"

"The karate kid, the newer version though."

"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Rock and hip-hop."

"Own a car?"

"Yes Dem. A 2008 white Honda Civic Hybrid. Just in case you're wondering, I share it with Ventus."

"Sweet! I own a Honda too- and that's Hybrid!" 

"What? Is it a Insight?" 

"Close, except it's a CUV and it's the Prius version of my Pilot." 

"Cool." 

"Well, enough with the Honda stuff now. (blush) What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"I like to play video games, skateboard, shop at Journeys in Seaside Mall, hang out at Seaside Park with my friends, sit on the Twilight town tower and eat sea-salt ice cream with Axel and Xion, and I surf."

"You surf?"

"Yep."

"Cool. Next, your personal question. Do you have a secret affair with The Twilight saga?"

"No, I absolutely do not."

"Okay then, your inteview is is over."

"Bye Demyx! I worry for him."

*Demyx roaming the halls aimlessly*

"Oh hey Demyx!"

"Xion, hi."

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know, I've interviewed everyone and I-"

"You didn't interview me!"

"I didn't? Oh, I'm sorry Xion, I'll do that right now."

*Xion's interview*

"What is your element?"

"I... I'm not really sure."

"What is your favourite colour?"

"Light blue."

"Really? me too! What is your favourite flavour of ice cream?"

"Sea-salt."

"What is your favourite T.V. show?"

"I like MAD."

"Me too!"

"Cool!

"What is your favourite movie?"

"Avatar. But not the crappy version made by Night M. Shyaman."

"I know right? What kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"Pop and rock."

"What do you like to do on the weekends?"

"I like to sit on the Twi-"

"On the Twilight town tower and eat sea-salt ice cream with Axel and Roxas, yeah, yeah, I've heard this story two other times. Next question is your personal quetion."

"Okay."

"Do you want to hang out sometime?"

"Sure, I'd love to."

"Well, thanks for your time, I gotta go publish these interviews. Bye Xion!"

"Goodbye Demyx!"

*Thirty minutes later*

"Xion! Xion! I finished them!"

"Really? Cool Demyx, lemme see! Ha, these are funny! Are you gonna do this next week?"

"No way!"

"Why not."

"'Cause, I learned that all it does is get people concerned about you and mad at you, besides, it's hard work, and I do not like hard work."

"Well, we should get to reading these."

"Yeah. Well bye everybody! I'll talk to you real soon. This is Demyx and Xion, and we're signing off."

(A/N: OMG Finally finished! I'm. Such. A. Slacker! Tell me what you think. GTG my new puppy is tackling me!)


	5. Relative Days Part 1

(A/N: OMG NOOO! Why am I so scared? Well, yes, the fact that I have to type ANOTHER author's note does frighten me, but THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN! I mean, IT'S RELATIVE DAY! AHHH! Yes, yes, Demyx is also very scared. Let's see how he's doing...)

*August 1, 2011, 5:03 P.M.*

"Hello everyone... I'M SO SCARED THAT I THINK I'M GONNA PIZZ MAH PANTZ! You see, today is "Relative Days". Once a year, we all hold this HUGE get together where the relatives of every participant visit for a week...at least, that's how Superior put it. I really have NO clue as to what that means. But I believe it's somewhere along the lines of:

'Every soul on this earth that you absolutely CANNOT STAND, gets together and invites their obnoxious relatives to come and stay at YOUR house, eat YOUR food, and annoy the shit out of you for an enitre week.'

Since it's the thirteenth of the month, it is to be hosted here...in The World That Never Was...in the castle. Which means that EVERYONE is coming. Including:

Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, The rest of Organization XIII, Me, Nami, Sora, Riku, Kairi, Venny, 'Nitas, Aqua, Terra, a bunch of other people, and even KING MICKEY'S GONNA BE THERE! Apparently, it's a really big deal to them... I guess it must be considering the ever-so-crucial fact that we basically never see our relatives... EVER.

Around this time each year, there are two emotions: excited, scared, nervous, and angry...just plain...angry...wait a sec... one, two, three, fo...MOVING ON! Mostly everyone is either angry or excited.

But me? I'm just mostly made up of nerves. You may possibly be thinking: 'What the hell Demyx? I thought you were a Nobody! You're not supposed to feel anything!'

Well for those people I'd say:

'Oh, we do to have hearts! Don't be mad!' And for those of you who didn't notice:

STUDY YOUR KINGDOM HEARTS! We're Nobodies, we're not supposed to _have_ feelings, got it memorized?"

"Demyx! What did I tell you about using my catchprashe?"

"To not to..."

"That's right. Now be a good little water beast and say _your_ catchprashe."

"Ohhh...dance water, dance. Dance water, dance? It's just not the same. We're Nobodies, we're not supposed to have feelings, dance water, dance? It's so wrong in that position...where was I?

Oh right! See, my feelings are mostly nervousnessness...I think...because of one thing: Clive. That's right, you heard me, Clive, my mischievious little brother. He's about eight now and he's such a trouble maker. I think he's almost evil..wait, he IS evil, but I'm the only one who sees it. Chester (the Heartless) doesn't care. As for my mother? She couldn't give a damn, she thinks it's "adorable", or whatever the hell she calls it. And my dad is to busy to understand mostly because he's doing some sort of undercover mission in Uzbekistan...he's a governtment spy, did cha' know? No one believes me though. They always tell me the same lame story about this fibbey boy and this angry dog or something. I must've heard that story at LEAST a hundred times, yet I tune them out everytime I hear it...It's amazing, really. `

To fill the empty void in my so called 'non-existant' heart, my Gammy comes instead of my father...but be warned please, she can be VERY judgemental. Like this one time I brought home my favorite dancer Nobody, Lillie, but when my Gammy saw her...she wasn't very happy.

*Says in old lady voice* 'Demyx!' She yelled at me, 'what is this, this...THING you've brought home?' And of course I answered

'This is Lillie! She's my favorite dancer Nobody!'

Gammy seemed angry, really disgusted, in fact.

*Says in old lady voice* 'Demyx! I can't believe you're hanging out with "dancer" women! Didn't I tell you to stay away from those pole dancing, man chasing, whores?'

I really had no clue what she was talking about. I mean, I didn't even know what half those words meant. But still I love my Gammy, so I told Lillie to go back to the Castle That Never Was and wait for me. Gammy is usually VERY nice...but get on her badside and she'll destroy you...wait...have I heard that from somewhere before? Meh. Nothing but a memory now.

So I was talking about fine cheeses yes?...wait...no. Lemme TRY THAT AGAIN. I was talking about how we do things during relative days yes? There! That's more like it. So the week before Relative Days, Xemnas is USUALLY at his craziest. Because every time we are planned to host this thing he says

'Xigbar! I don't give a damn if you wanna take a break, you have to help us do all of the preparations!'

Preparations usually include:

Cleaning the Castle

Decorating the Castle

Getting the chemicals in the swimming pool checked

Or, in my case, something Xemnas calls: Mega-Shopping.

See _**I**_ always get stuck shopping with all the _**worst**_ people. Every year that we DO have the job of hosting this event, I always get stuck doing Mega-Shopping, while getting stuck with Xigbar, Xaldin, Larxene, Vexen, and Saix. ALWAYS...NO MATTER WHAT I TRY TO DO. Perhaps this year I could try poisioning... huh? Oh right! I was doing...this...thing. So basically, it means I get stuck with four PSYCHOS and a teacher's pet. (A/N: Unfortunately NOT Sora Psycho ;D.) And what we do during Mega-Shopping unfortunately remains a mystery to others. Those damn lucky Nobodies! This looks like a job for Demyx's Book Of Words I Believe Are Maybe Possibly Made Up!

(Demyx/Note: This is my little note book where I write the defintions of words that I believe are maybe possibly made up...sometimes I try and look up the word and it turns out it IS real.)

*Word: Mega-Shopping

Pronunciation: I have no clue what that is.

Defintion: Some dumb name that Mansex made up to make crappy shopping in an over crowded stores suck less. *

Me and the other loonies go out to Super Wal-Mart and buy every clothing, cleaning, and food item there is possible to buy in the damn store. And to make matters worse, if that's even possible, Xigbar likes to run, run away from us and it takes us half an hour to find the clever little bastard. So we split up and it takes even LONGER to find each other. And PLEASE don't get me started on whenever we have to go to the creepy plant section. There are these freaky weirdos there who are some group of royalty apparently, the leader calls herself Bean, Queen Of Wal-Mart, how odd.

Xiggy always yells to them:

'How much do you charge for one night of fun "Queenie"?'

And the leader always yells back:

'As if! You damn pirate-pixie!'

Weird! I know, right?...whateves. So when we actually get to the check-out five hours after stepping into the store, IT. TAKES. FOREVER to leave. It's absolutely AWFUL. Did I mention, the whole time Xaldin, is stabbing you in the side with his lances, Larxy's threatning to end you, Saix is yelling at you to knock it off, Xigbar is NOwhere to be found, and since Vexen is the fastest walker in the group, he will constantly walk, like forty feet ahead of you and when you're still twenty feet away from him the madman turns around and yells at you to stop walking so slow as if he ACTUALLY EXPECTS YOU TO KEEP PACE WITH HIM! In conclusion it sucks...and this basically happens every other year or so. It seriously will ADD YEARS to your life. Not months, not weeks, not even days, YEARS! I should be fourty-seven right now! I'm Sixteen! I should be happy as to be so fortunate as to basically live FOREVER, 'cuz if we keep hosting this thing, I'll never die!

Whatever...thank you ever so much for listening to my rant. I just need to vent is all, then those jitters go away! Hey... I don't even feel the nerves anymore!"

"Hi Demy! "

"Okay, nerves are back!"

(To Be Continued! *Dot, dot, dot*)

* * *


	6. The Shortie Chapter

(A/N: Relative Days part 2! I couldn't wait to get started on it! I was in a rush of many in inspirations, so here it is! Within days of being updated, here is chapter six!)

"Clive? "

"You bet it's me Demy!"

"Oh no...no no no no no no no no no! MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Why, Relative Days, of course. Oh...don't tell me you forgot already!"

"Of course not, but I mean...YOU'RE EARLY! Relatives Days isn't until Monday..."

"So?"

"TODAY IS SATURDAY!"

"Well, I just couldn't wait to see my little Demyx!"

"Yes! You can! Ohhhh... what am I gonna tell Xemnas?"

"Demyx I-"

"XEMNAS! Hey...uh funny story really."

"Why hello Xemnas!"

"Hello Marleen...MARLEEN? Demyx, why are your relatives here, Relative days isn't until Monday."

"Why don't you tell HER that?"

"Well, surprisingly, YOUR family is probably one of my favorites...I don't see why staying and extra two days is so bad. But of course you'll need to cope with the fact that you'll have to clean your own guest room if you want to stay the extra days. Also we're low on food, shampoo, and you may have to help decorate the castle..."

"Oh I don't mind one bit!"

"Really...not the reaction I expected...buuuut...okay!"

"OH! MY LITTLE GRANDSON, DEMYX!"

"GAMMY! How's it going Gammy?"

"Oh, good Demyx, good!"

"Hey mom, how was your flight from New Jersey?"

"Long and exhausting! But good nonetheless."

"Well, I'm so happy you're here. But it's kinda of bad timing because I was just about to do my next mission."

"Oh Demyx, we could never hold you back from your job. Go. Do your errand, come back, and we'll talk! Catch up on things, okay sweetie?

"'Kay, thanks mom!"

"Xiggy!"

"Right here 'lil, dude!"


End file.
